Jairmie William...
We are so very proud of you <3 Mommy needs to tell you something, how mommy feels about something actually, incase its true, what the doctor says. They think that you may be  mildly autistic, and developmentally delayed. Mommy wants you to know something little Jairmie. You are a miracle. You are a beautiful, precious, perfect miracle. I love you so much. I am so proud to be your mommy... and you need to know that. I do not care what people say, you will be just fine. We will help you to be the best you could be. We are so proud to be your parents... and you are making so much progress. And you are the apple of your little brothers eye. You should know that... he looks up to you and adores you. No matter what life throws at you, or our family, we are so proud to call you ours.
Here are some pictures of you and your brother... as you can tell you are just the best of friends <3

 Cuddling Brother

Family Picures

 You and brother christmas picture            Playing with your baby bro                 Ditto

You and mommy this christmas

We love you so much Jairmie William. You love books, and toys, and of course Go Diego Go. We are so very proud to be your family. And no matter what struggles lie ahead... you need to know that <3 

Kisses my boy. We love you

Happy Second birthday, My precious baby boy.

Your birthday cake

the most recent pic of you and your brother <3

Its hard to believe that in 3 days, you will be 2 years old. You were the baby mommy was told she could never have.  You have so much love, so many smiles, you love your new puppy, your toys, to explore, to play games, to cuddle mommy, to take pictures, and to bounce. You are just amazing and a blessing to your father and me. Happy birthday baby. Tomorrow we celebrate (your birthday is on a monday) and will have a cars themed party, with a cool cake that mommy made herself (and is kinda proud of). You will see friends, and then the day after that, you will see family as we go to the zoo. I hope your so happy tomorrow. You and your brother are our world Jairmie William. When all else fails... knows mommy loves you... and is so proud to call you hers. You showed mommy that the enemy can do a lot to you... he can hurt you in unimaginable ways, but he cannot take what God wants to give you.  I thank God daily for such a miracle in my life. I am so proud to be called mommy by you.  

Growing so quickly

You and mommy, How much I love you <3

My sweet sweet Jairmie William. You grow so quickly before my eyes. 3 days ago you could not twist the part of your toy that you would have to. Today you spin it with ease. You used to fear baths, for almost 1 year. Today you took your bath with no tears. To top that you pee peed in the potty. I am so proud of you. I miss you so much when I work. I hope you know that. Your almost 2 years old baby. I can barely believe it. 2 next month. I love you my darling. MOre then words can say. When I work tomorrow... it will be for your birthday gift. Oh the smiles we will share. I love you fearcely. I am so proud to be your mommy. You are my miracle baby... you and your brother. I love you all so very much. You, your brother, and your daddy <3

To my boys, 

I want you to know that mommy could not be happier right now. Mommy loves you both so much its crazy.  

I love holding you, Kaiden Wyatt, I love listening to you coo, watching your crazy facial expressions you make (your much more animated then your brother ever was). I love knowing your ok when you wake me in the middle of the night. As frustrating as it can be to be woken every 3-4 hours, and never really get a full night sleep... knowing your ok, when i hear that cry... is one of the best feelings in the world. Its every mothers fear to loose their children. SIDS is a terrifying phenomenon and just hearing you cry, makes mommy happy to know your ok.  I love rubbing your little head of hair, holding your little hands, and watching you stare at the world in wonder. I love that you have so easily become part of this family. 

I love watching you play Jairmie William. I love seeing your bright smile, when your so happy its almost infectious. I love hearing your squeals watching you learn. I love moments of quiet with you. I love when you run up to me and all you want is to hug mommy.  I love that you have gotten so much better, and have not had a seizure in months. I love watching you spin around in circles in the living room and watching you dance. I love taking you out to the swings to play... hearing you giggle so happily. I love how you know where home is. I love how fearless you are, though if I'm to be completely honest it puts the fear of god in me as well. What kind of trouble are you going to get yourself into over the next 17 years 0.o <3  I love how you, though you may never know it, make me and daddy a family. And now you are making an awesome big brother. 

If I could freeze time, I would. I love being home with you both, playing, singing, holding you. Goin on adventures (you both see the world with aww and wonder). But mommy can't be home with you like this forever. Mommy within the next couple weeks is going to have to go back to work. Mommy likes her job, and cares about the people she works with. Mommy is makin a difference in the lives of people who sometimes don't have anyone every day. Mommy likes that. But because mommy is selfish if she had her way, and we could live on it financially, would love to be home all day with you boys and daddy. Mommy knows how much she misses you, Jairmie, when she is gone, and how much she will miss you when she goes back to work, Kaiden. Mommy is doing good things when she works, caring for people who can't care for themselves, but mommy misses you guys anytime she is not home. It makes mommy sad to think of all the giggles I'm missing, all the memories, when I am gone. How much ill miss with kaiden is especially a sad subject for mommy. Mommy saw all your firsts Jairmie, your first smile, your first step, your first words, when you first stood up, your first dance moves, the list goes on. It makes mommy sad to think she may even miss one of those with Kaiden. But know that no matter what new exciting things you 2 do when mommy is gone... mommy is there with you in spirit. 

I am so proud to call you boys mine. I love you both fiercely. Never doubt that. Mommy and daddy both love you fiercely. We love each other unendingly. We are a family. As long as we are together, its home. Mommy loves you both <3

You are a big brother!

We wanted you to know we will always love you, and you will always be our little boy <3 It is insane how quickly you are growing <3 Your already 3 feet 3 inches tall and not even 2 years old <3

You are already an amazing big brother. You run up to him, kiss him, you want to hold him, and play with him. As of right now, you don't understand that he can't really play, but he will be able to soon enough. He has only been here less then 2 weeks and you have already adopted the word brother buhba LOL.

We want you to know your amazing, special, and wonderful. You and your brother are both the light of our lives. We want you to know that we don't love you any less now that Kaiden is here. Quite the opposite. We love you even more then we ever thought we could. You are so wonderful with your brother.  We love watching you run and play, and grow and learn. We cannot wait to watch you keep growing <3 You are so amazing Jairmie William. We love you.

You have grown so much lil man, its crazy to me. you have so many talents, your so adventurous and excited about learning, you love people so much. Me and your daddy love you so. We are starting to hear you talk more, though not as much as we would like, you can say  "got to go" "ya" "Dada" "did it" "love you" "no" and "my kitty" those are the words you say most often anyway. Other then that you can say Mom when you really want something. its hard to believe your 18 months old. In about 2 months you little brother will be here. He will take a lot of mommy and daddy's time, but please know no matter how much time we spend with Kaiden, we love you so much. You can climb stairs proficiently now. You can "Clean up" you like to sing, and cuddle, and of course watch land before time. You get bumps and bruises and your favorite part of the day is always when mommy takes you outside... whether its for a walk, to watch cars drive by, or to go to the park. Your making mommy really tired lately, but i expected no less seeing how I am 7 months pregnant with your brother. Be good to him ok? You will never know how important Kaiden is to you until one day, when your both all grown up, and you don't see him very often. Mommy knows. Mommy has not seen uncle William since Christmas or uncle timmy since she was 17. Its hard. <3 I love you so much little man. More then any words can ever say... and I know you will be an amazing big brother <3 
Mommy. 

My sweet little one

Things have been so crazy, mommy has not been able to write to you in a long long time. I am sorry my love. Today has been a busy day for you! You jumped for the first time, and climbed up 5 stairs 5 times! Those are things you learned JUST TODAY! Earlier this month you learned to feed yourself with a spoon. Your dancing, singing, running and learning more and more words every day. Mommy and Daddy love you so much and want you to know that though things are about to change alot... that how much we love you never will. You will always be our baby Jairmie William. Your growing so fast, learning so many new things... you love playing outside and Land Before Time. You love learning about letters and numbers (through movies and mommy working with you) you have learned so very much just recently and we are so glad your our son! We are starting to finally reestablish a pattern of daily activity with you, you have not had a seizure in a long time, and things are starting to look really good. Mommy and Daddy feel very blessed and love you so much! We are still waiting for words. Sometimes you babble and mommy thinks its words but its not :( Dr Brown says you will learn at your own timing though. So we will just wait for those beautiful first words.
I love you my little one,
Mommy