I am so proud of you

You are laying here beside me drinking your chocolate milk. 

And you just dropped some in your eyes...

And you just said "ow, eyes" and looked at me waiting for a kiss... 

 You are different my boy.

And I don't want to lie to you about that.

You have Autism. You work so hard to communicate. You are weird. And I love it. 

You have come so far. So very far from where you were when you were diagnosed.

Full sentences, spontaneous talking, big smiles with perfect eye contact, empathy and grace. You who have come so far will make an amazing man one day. 

We, as a family hold many core beliefs.

-God is real, and we live our lives for him. 

-we can get through anything together

-love is not needing to hear "I'm sorry" to forgive 

-autism isn't a problem, it isn't a mistake, it's beautiful, and how God made you. 

Well to name a few of them. 

I am so proud to be your Moma. 

You have come so far. And I can't wait to see how far you will go.

Never giving up

I'm just a mom. I'm just your Moma. People like to put me on a pedistol because I'm a special needs mom. they could "never be as strong as me" 

But they'd be surprised. 

They would have given up, they say. 

But they wouldn't have. 

See to me your not a child with Autism, your simply my child. My child who happens to be autistic. My child who is different. Who needs therapy, who needs a lil more patience but mostly, you really are just my baby! 

How do you do it? They ask. 

How have you not lost it? Not given up? 

But how could I. Through the meltdowns and ever busy schedule, all I see is my beautiful, smart, sweet special little boy. With his green eyes, his big smile, and his constant joy. 

How could anyone turn their back on what is so obviously a gift? An obvious miracle! 

Why don't I give up? It's not cuz it's so easy, it's not cuz I have never cried and it's not cuz it's not at times a fight. It is. But you my sweet boy are definitely worth fighting for.  I am so proud of how hard you have worked. How loving you are. How devoted you are to your brother. I am so blessed by you! 

So how could I ever give up? In your eyes I see promise, I see joy, but most importantly I see love. Your my boy, your growing up far too fast, and I love you more then you could possibly know.

And my boy you never give up on love.

God made you

There is something very important I want you to know Jairmie William

God made you autistic. 

He made you autistic and that wasn't a mistake. 

In fact God doesn't make mistakes. 

I want you to know that I see how beautiful amazing ingenious heartbreaking(let's be honest sometimes it is) and frustrating autism can be. I see it 

Oh but my sweet dear Jairmie, I see you! 

I see your attention to detail, I see your love of animals and thirst to know more and learn more of them. I saw you struggle for 3 years to find your voice..

I have seen so much from you, I have seen strength and weakness. I have seen sensory issues and first words. 

Autism is beautiful baby, because

It is part of you, a huge part of you. 

God made you, with that sweet little smile the energy, the focus, and the love for animals. With autism. God made you. I can't express that to you enough. 

And it wasn't just a careless act on his behalf, no you were beautifully and wonderfully made, with a purpose. He thought hard about your life and your purpose and Autism is part of that.

As your mom I am scared, because your 4 years old but I know one day you will get teased. Even if you were neurotypical you would be. I fear that people will try to make you see your autism as simply a disability as compared to a talent, a different way of being. A gift and sometimes hard. 

Baby it's a gift. It's you. Accept it and love it. Work on your weaknesses but find your strength and enjoy that. Be proud of who you. 

Know beyond a doubt God made you, and that means that you were made with this thing we call autism. 

So what is autism? It means you think differently, more logically, then some people. More linier then others. It means you think different then mommy does. But it doesn't make you any more or less then anyone else. For we all have a purpose in Christ. 

Embrace the life God has given you and live for him, knowing that you were not a mistake! 

Work on your weaknesses as much as your strengths. Mommy is good at talking to people so if you ever need help in that I'm your girl! For anything you need I am here

Don't you dare let people convince you the having autism makes you less. You matter. Your dreams matter. Your future is bright! Autism and all. 

People with autism have changed our

World, so can you, my sweet love

And don't you forget it!!!!

We love you sweet bug, and support you always,

Moma and dad 

Sweet bug

It's been a hard day on you and mommy :( you woke up upset and it was just a tail spin from there. These happen sometimes in our home. It's hard, for mom, when you regress like you have today but I try to just take it in stride. This week over all has been a great week! You are working on potty training... And yesterday and the day before you were able to pee 5x in the potty. Today though just blind sided me. I mean i really didn't see it coming. You were having a very hard time listening, and you would meltdown every time i put you on the potty. I am praying this is just a one day thing, and tomorrow will be better. Still even though today has been frustrating I am so proud if you.  You test boundaries, sure, but you are still learning. I love how you never give up(though I wish you would not apply this to breaking the rules). I love you dearly. So dearly. Mommy is trying so hard to keep patien with you. Be patient with me ok? I love you buggle wuggle Huggles.  

Mommy! 

Do you know?

Do you how much we all love you Jairmie William? I am so proud to be your mommy. Your energy, your joy, and your love are outstanding. You have come so far. You have several sentences, you understand and respond to questions, you are potty training and chugging along with it. My sweet boy. You are in your second year of preschool. Your playing with your brother, you are learning so much. And your love for life, for your family, and everyone around you. You are so full if energy, you love to dance, to sing, you love jake and the neverland pirates, tangled, you love playing outside, going on walks, blanket rides, there really must much you don't like we have had hard days lately, cuz your ornery and hard headed, just like your moma but you are amazing! I love you Jairmie William! Keep proving the experts wrong! 

Mommy 

Beautiful boy<3

Buggy and k being silly! You are always trying to crawl in te sink!

My sweet buggy :)

Oh how far you have come! You are talking all the time now :) One day I know you are gonna read this blog and think, wow... my mommy worried too much. But that is what mommies do best. Heres whats going on in your life right now... First of all you LOVE animals. I almost want to say that half of your 100+ words are animals. You have another sentence: "eat please" which you apply to EVERYTHING if you want it. For example, your speech therapist today had his ipad and you wanted it and you were all "eat please?" Your favorite animal is the elephant, followed closely by the tortoise. Your also starting to develop a huge love of cars. One of the things we are most excited about is you are developing an awesome relationship with kaiden. Showing him what he is supposed to do when called, playing ring around the rosie, and giving him kisses all the time. Another huge milestone today is that we were working with our spelling cards (that we have only worked with twice before) and how it works is on the front I put the word, on the back I draw a picture. Well today when spelling bear you read me the letters "B-E-A-R" and said Bear with out seeing the picture at all! We were so proud! Buggy we love you so. You have come much farther then the doctors thought you would already. I cant wait to watch you grow into the fantastic man I know you will be. Also I want to apologize for when mommy raises her voice...I promise its not because im mad at you, its because even with all your awesome words and improvement, sometimes I don't know how best to teach you or what you need or want. Its hard, but with how far you come, I know that it wont be long till its not that way any more. Jairmie Bear-a-my I love you dearly. My first born miracle. I am so proud of you! Love always Mommy.

My big boy

It was with tears of joy this week where we heard your first sentence. I was trying to get you to say blue, your newest color you can say. So your coloring with blue and I point out "that's blue Jairmie, can you say blue?" You look at me and look at the color I'm holding and say "but, what is this?" Oh how far you have come in the last 6 months. How hard you have worked and how much joy you have brought. We are so proud. But please stop biting into your baby brother. That boy worships you. And it's simply heart breaking that he is getting bitten so often. Nevertheless we are so very proud of you and love you dearly. Mommy :)