The last few weeks have been hard for mommy. I have been taking what is called a CNA class. It is so mommy can get a job and take better care of you, like get you all the things you need to help you learn to be very very smart. Baby mommy loves you so much. Its hard not being able to spend the day with you during the week. All this weekend you have done nothing but cry it seems. I try so hard to make you happy but i just dont know what to do. Your sick right now, and teething so thats never a good combination <3 Jairmie you are loved... more than words can say. The hardest part of this class is knowing that, by the time all of my all day classes are over you will be 9 months old... and i will have missed most of an entire mont of your life.
Your mommies inspiration. Your growing up so fast. I mean you 8 months old and already you fit into your big boy 1year plus sponge bob and cars pajamas. You are trying new things, like ice cream bars and cheese, even pizza. You are almost able to crawl and your doing soo good. Mommy is working very hard when your asleep to prepare the house for the day that you are ready to crawl all over this house.
Mommy was hurt very much by a friend this last week, and your the only thing that has helped mommy keep it all together. Mommy comes home from class exhausted and weak, but most of all sad she cannot see you, but then she has to remind herself that all of this... is being done for you.
Mommy talks about you in class. Did you know that? All the time. People dont know how much you mean to me. How very much I love you.
Little man I want you remember something as you grow up ok? Its something that just occurred to mommy today.
When we are kids, everything is miraculous and magical. As we grow, that doesn't change. We change. Until we can no longer see the beauty or feel the magic in the world. Until our hearts, become too preoccupied with what must be done, to realize what has been done for us. I see it all again. In my babies eyes
Never loose sight of the magic and the beauty in this world, or the one who gave it to you, God. Sometimes you will feel weak, or that the world is overwhelming. But your strong. Already mommy can tell you that. Your 8 months old, and have lived through seizures, infections and other things. You are weak in some ways right now, like mommy is. Mommy gets sick very easy.... but i promise you baby when you grow you will be strong.
No matter where you go... or what you become, your loved.... so very very loved.
Mom spent the day today playing with you and trying to get your bedroom rearranged so it will be nice for you to spend your time in. Your growing up so fast. Its hard to believe your almost a year old. <3 Remember who you are Jairmie, as you grow older. Remember where you came from. Remember your part of a family of fighters, who can make it through some of the worst things, and come out on top strong, faithful, and fearless to the end. A family who loves you fiercely, each and every one of us, though we all show it in different ways.
Your resting in your room tonight. I find myself wanting to go hold you. To tell you mommy loves you but you must rest, you're sick and you need your sleep.
Be strong my love, but above all else, as you grow, be yourself
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